Wednesday, September 29, 2010


So as you know if you’ve been reading my blog the kids Grandpa is gravely ill.
We were told to say goodbye Sunday and it’s now Thursday... so it’s confusing and really making it harder for all the children and its extremely hard for his wife.... he has been suffering with Alzheimer’s also so that’s just an added problem.
To see her there last night though telling him she’s there and asking him for a kiss while he is unconscious and there is no response absolutely broke my heart. They have been married for 65 years and whilst he has been in a nursing home for the good part of the last year, she see him every day and still chats to him about all of life’s events..... I began to think of my own life and what I would do if the people I share my news, my joys and my disappointments with was taken away.... and it really hit home even harder.
I have lived for while now with the for today... probably ever since I realised (due to my nephew’s illness) that life is not necessarily guaranteed to be for a long time.
I wanted to remind you all to Live every day to its fullest, Thast what he did, just look at him joining in at the kids parties..he didn't care who was watching!.....enjoy the fact that you woke up this morning....hug your kids, your parents your friends, don’t ever go to bed angry, and unless what’s upsetting you will cause a death....suck it up and move on.
Always try to find a way to make things a positive ...there is always someone worse off than you and as many of us have learnt along the way what does not kill us will make us stronger.

This was written by Crystal Boyd (1998) and I really thought it hit on what I was trying to express

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time ... and remember that time waits for no one...
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Thought for the day:
Live like there’s no tomorrow,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

An old Irish proverb...

By the way at Zumba the other night .,.I certainly danced like no-one was watching!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'm into the 80's

Well as of today I am officially into the 80's....a long time since I've been there..have to say I feel really good to have met my first goal.... it gives me the momentum to keep going.

I have worked pretty hard and am still struggling daily with food issues, but I know I am making progress and heading in the right direction.... the results motivate me to avoid those poor food choices.

I am not having problems with the exercise as I really enjoy the feeling it gives me...only problem I have is scheduling it in each day with a busy schedule....really wish I was more of a morning person!!

Hoping that everyone else can get to the point where they too feel really confident and positive about the changes they are making in their lives, I know I am and will not be going back!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Really Been a Tough Day today....

Today has been a tough day... we have had some bad news, my children’s grandfather is dying and I have taken them in to basically say goodbye....really heart wrenching stuff!
We have spent a good part of the day at the hospital....... which is stressful... and what does the old me normally do when stressed...turn to food.
I need to be strong for them this is their first relative to pass away and this is the toughest thing I think I have had to do as a parent....I don’t know what to do or say other than to just be there for them, remind them of how lucky they were to have had a great Pa they could spend time growing up with and chat about some of the good memories.... but it breaks your heart for them and yourself.
I am home now and looking in the pantry.... what can I eat that’s OK...why do I want to I, then why? Why does this happen to me? What triggers this stupid reliance on food to comfort my emotions.....? so far I have resisted, I have made myself a coffee and sat down with a magazine, and am now going to go clean out my youngest cupboards..That will occupy my mind.... let’s hope so anyways......I will be strong.... I am not going to let this make me eat stupid bad foods, I know I am stronger than this and I know that if I give in I will be so mad at myself tomorrow.....
Writing this is also therapeutic, it helps me talk about what’s getting to me and see on paper in black and white what I do and don’t want to do...why would I let this event ruin all my hard is when I need to be strongest for my children, and the others affected by this, such a sad occasion... this will be a true test of how strong I have become....I will not succumb to the inner teenager begging for chocolate and chips!.

I will be strong for all of us!!!!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Tears for Fears.......

Well on one hand “tears for fears” were an 80’s band and on the other hand “tears for fears”was was how I ended up after a simple trip to a I thought the link as I head into and through the 80’s was apt.... OK so I’ll get better as we go along.
Anyway my journey had a bit of a hiccup yesterday...not as some may be thinking with food, exercise or commitment but with my emotions.
I thought as I was feeling kind of good about my changes and would like to capture this feeling, it may be nice to have some photo’s done (maybe even something special for hubby for Christmas). I know a lot of you are having these done and I thought why not me too...I loved having hair and makeup done for the celebration parties.
I do not have a lot of photos of me really...and when I look back at the family holidays its almost like I was not there. I know why too, cause to actually see myself in print was literally too distressing. It made me focus on what I did not like about the way I looked and felt. If I was in a photo I used to ask to only be shot from the top half..Trying to avoid the gianormous breasts, and the stomach which was almost in line with those breasts!
SO I’ve looked at the shots they do and the young girl is asking what sort of photo’s I might like to take and I know kind of what I would like, I am staring out the window... trying to gather the words, I start to say that I would like to look pretty, and sexy and not show my cellulite, and rolls and then I find myself explaining to this poor girl how I have been fat and ugly for so long that I am not sure I should do this... and then the “tears for fears” start, and I am trying to pull it all together and I realise I have not really been honest with myself about how much this weight and “body image self loathing” really had a hold on me. I realised I still have a quite a way to go so..what did I do
I have agreed I will go ahead with the photo’s but have pushed the date out a little, like some miracle is going to suddenly make me “gorgeous and photogenic”.
For me this will be a challenge where I will totally be out of my comfort zone ... but just like bootcamp there will be no “tears for fears”(I am hoping) and the outcome just like bootcamp will be an exhilarating feeling.
This was really another great ”lightbulb” moment where I realise I still have a way to go... but I also know I will make it as I have the support of a great team!
BTW....exercise and food going great!! Doing my Fitness test today

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

DAY 3.....GREAT JOB GIRL some positive self talk

Sooo day 3...weigh in day, and I strip off...pee.... check for extra jewellery....and wait for it...step on the scales willing myself to almost tip toe in the hope that this will make me weigh less!!!
Well I have lost 1/2 a kilo in 2 days and I should be stoked with that result...I find myself thinking could I have done better, I set my expectations a little high...but I've had a chat to me...told myself that is a great result for 2 days... a healthy result that is sustainable over the journey and decided I am really proud of myself...I am out and moving and eating well, and I still feel fantastic.....
So bring on the day, bring on the challenges and roll on to the next weigh in.
Glad I had a chat to the new me, cause the old me would have said...oh well should have had the chocolate bar...maybe Ill have one now, and work it off for next week’s weigh in, and even some hot chips... but the new improved me....who like herself a little more said....GREAT JOB YOU GO GIRL!!!!
And I send that message to anyone else who did not quite get the results...keep working on it...your already on your way and as Mish says consistency is the key....the body will do its own stuff..... Me thinks Michelle is also living in my

Day 2....going well

Well Day 2...and so far successful, since I have recommitted to Michelle the weight loss and challenges for this round, I have been really excited, by all the support I have gotten and equally enthused by the number of people who are themselves really committed, and I am hoping to support them too.

Today I ensured I was prepared for the day"foodwise"and although it took me around 20 minutes to prepare the brekky and lunch last was really worth it...preparation is another key, if you are not prepared its way too easy to go off track and snack or choose an unhealthy alternative. Eating healthy is not always easy in a food court!!

No wonder we are also booking in times to train, those with really busy lives (and I think that's most people these days) can so easily run out of time to train...when the days activities start to take over.

Having said that I have just watched Mish's live video and I'm off to train

be kind to yourselves

chat soon


Monday, September 20, 2010

Back to the 70's a new outlook

Well I have changed my Blog and forum name yet again.... for those not on the 12WBT transformation I am on a journey which began over 26 weeks ago.

A journey to better health, a better mindset and a better version of me....I have discovered many things about myself and will be sharing them over the next 12 weeks.

But today just to let you know I have changed my name to "Back to the 70's"cause that's were my weight loss journey is headed.... a happier time for me and one I have not visited for a long time (decades)

Along the way I am also going to revisit the 80's which I am sure also held some joy.... and some pain...we will take an honest look at the good, the bad and the ugly!!

so until tomorrow be kind to yourselves