Sunday, September 26, 2010

Really Been a Tough Day today....

Today has been a tough day... we have had some bad news, my children’s grandfather is dying and I have taken them in to basically say goodbye....really heart wrenching stuff!
We have spent a good part of the day at the hospital....... which is stressful... and what does the old me normally do when stressed...turn to food.
I need to be strong for them this is their first relative to pass away and this is the toughest thing I think I have had to do as a parent....I don’t know what to do or say other than to just be there for them, remind them of how lucky they were to have had a great Pa they could spend time growing up with and chat about some of the good memories.... but it breaks your heart for them and yourself.
I am home now and looking in the pantry.... what can I eat that’s OK...why do I want to I, then why? Why does this happen to me? What triggers this stupid reliance on food to comfort my emotions.....? so far I have resisted, I have made myself a coffee and sat down with a magazine, and am now going to go clean out my youngest cupboards..That will occupy my mind.... let’s hope so anyways......I will be strong.... I am not going to let this make me eat stupid bad foods, I know I am stronger than this and I know that if I give in I will be so mad at myself tomorrow.....
Writing this is also therapeutic, it helps me talk about what’s getting to me and see on paper in black and white what I do and don’t want to do...why would I let this event ruin all my hard is when I need to be strongest for my children, and the others affected by this, such a sad occasion... this will be a true test of how strong I have become....I will not succumb to the inner teenager begging for chocolate and chips!.

I will be strong for all of us!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Just sending you some hugs. Keep busy and let yourself deal with things - writing always helps!

    As a parent, a good example is the most important thing we give our children and you are doing a fabulous job!